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Every June, cities around the world explode with rainbows, parades, and parties. For many gay men, Pride Month is a highlight of the year—a time to celebrate identity, visibility, and community. But for others, Pride can feel alienating. Not every gay man feels represented by the parades, the drag shows, the dancing in the streets.

LGBTQ Curricular Laws

So if you're a gay man wrestling with what Pride means to you—or whether you want to celebrate it don gays all—here are my unfiltered thoughts as a gay therapist:. Pride began as a fight for visibility and equal rights. In the s, being out was a radical act of resistance.

Being visibly queer could cost you your job, your family, or worse. Marching in those early parades was about survival. Today, in many parts of the world—especially in urban, liberal areas—gay men have much more visibility and protection. But it also means that for some, the need to declare their sexuality publicly feels less urgent.

Pride can be quiet. Pride can look like loving your partner openly. Pride can mean living your life without shame. Some gay men I work don gays tell me they feel like Pride celebrations have drifted from their original purpose. What began as a movement for equal rights now sometimes feels like a corporate-sponsored party or a free-for-all of causes.

That there is a community ready to embrace them. At its best, Pride is about reminding the world—and ourselves—that we all deserve dignity and equality, no matter how we express ourselves. It just requires sincerity. For some, being gay is central to their identity. For others—especially younger gay men—sexual orientation might not feel like a defining feature.

The goal of the gay rights movement was never to make everyone wear rainbow flags—it was to ensure that people could be who they are without fear. Maybe your form of Pride is just living authentically and not feeling the need to explain yourself. Simply living your life as an out, whole person is enough.

The only real criteria for being part of the gay community is being gay. Pride was built on the idea of freedom. That includes the freedom to be quiet, private, introverted, or ambivalent. No one owns Pride—not corporations, not activists, not the guys on the floats. Pride belongs to all of us.

And that includes you. You can also read more about my psychotherapy work with gay men. Check out my YouTube Channel for more! Pride Is Personal.